Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Preseason, Week 1 ~ @meganslayer #football

This feature will be moving to Mondays, but this week it’s on Thursday. Hey, gotta switch things up from time to time. 🙂 It’s preseason, so it’s time to start laughing it up!!

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My Bengals aren’t in my local market area, so I didn’t get to see the game live, but I held my breath through parts of it. Whew. Driskel looked good, so I’m told and I’m hoping Dalton and McCarron just needed to knock the rust off. Mixon…I’m pulling for him and Ross. I think they’ve got what it takes to be impressive. Here’s to hoping so. I’m wanting better than a .500 season.

It’s time for the preseason quotes. There were a few goodies from the Hall of Fame game that didn’t quite make the cut last time around, but they’re here now! Let’s get started.

“Asked him to move inside.” 

Yeah, you can’t pause for too long or it’s uncomfortable.

“He gets beat and beat by a good one.”

If he’s not moving, then most anything would beat him. Just sayin’. It’s not a race. Sometimes you’ve got to move.

“He gets bunched up before he turns the corner.”

Well…if he’s got a bit of a curve to him, then that could be a problem. No wonder he’s not moving.

“Sliding in the pocket.”

There we go. He’s got it now. Just needed a little…push.

“Hauls this one in–good hands.”

Yeah, he is good. Now that he’s got his mojo…look out!

Now for those wonderful quotes this week from the various preseason games. You won’t want to miss these.

“Can get very sloppy.”

He just used a little too much lube. It’s all good.

“Providing some heat up in there.”

Ah…hot sauce play.  If that’s your fetish…

“Getting manhandled up front.”

If he’s the guy from before that wasn’t moving, then he’s got it coming. Can’t hold still for too long or that push will get you.

“A small crease.”

Because he is tight…

“Meets him in the back.”

They did say they were going on a date. Better to meet in the back than the front where the action is right away.

“The big guy up front will be tested on his endurance.”

As long as it’s not a pencil and paper test, he’ll be just fine.

And now for the Doozy of the Week…this is the one that had me scratching my head the longest or was just so far out there…I couldn’t believe it. Ready?

“Did he get the whole loaf out?”

Yeah… I’m not sure what he’s referencing. There are a couple ways this could be interpreted, but I’m pretty sure bread and football aren’t in the same sentence (usually). Thoughts? I mean, if he’s endowed with a loaf… holy cow… and if it’s the other kind…yeah, don’t want to see that.

Well, those are the first week of the madness. Technically the second week, but it’s the first week of full action. Here’s to a good season, less CTE, more great plays and lots of fun! Oh, and WHO DEY!

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Movie Review ~ A Move and a Review… plus News! @meganslayer

Monday Movie Rundown Banner It’s time for the Monday Movie Rundown. Stay tuned for news, but first, my review!

This past week, I caught yet another Tyrone Power movie. This time it was Day-Time Wife.

Initially, I thought this was a Hallmark channel fluff piece movie. It’s from 1939, well after the Hayes Code went into major enforcement. The man can cheat, but the wife can’t and as long as he’s sorry…it’s okay. Hmm… I realize it was part of the times, but I didn’t like him cheating.

At first, I thought there was a lot of schmaltz in this movie. Sweet, but not too offensive. Then came Jane’s, the wife, reason for getting a job with the business rival of her husband–because he was stepping out with his secretary. I get the idea of people getting married and sticking it out through thick and thin might be old-fashioned, but I wanted to see that.

I wasn’t fond of Jane’s attitude or the way she went about outting her husband. She seemed to think it was fine to cheat if he did and got almost a perverse thrill out of goading him. Hey, he deserved it, but I had hoped she’d have been a tad stronger of a woman. Rise above. I don’t know.

Still, there was fun and a cute dog. Can’t go wrong when there’s a dog in the family.

This was a good watch to represent the simpleness of the late 1930s and Power is shot well. He’s lit as if he were the leading lady. If you want a fluff story to pass an afternoon, this might be the movie for you.

NOW FOR THE NEWS!! Monday Movie Rundown is moving to Thursday. Why? It’s football season! Starting next Monday, the Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback is back! I can’t wait!!

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Hall of Fame Game Edition ~ @meganslayer #football

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My Bengals didn’t play in the Hall of Fame game and that’s okay. The season will come soon enough. Until then, there were some great quotes from the game. The Cardinals and Cowboys were interesting and the comments were hilarious!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“They won’t see action tonight.” 

Why not? Were they in a time out?

“to present you.”

Must mean I’m out of time out.

“He was a stunning man.”

He is a stud.

“He came off the edge.”

He’s the man.

“You don’t want to end up getting involved with those guys.”

Because they play on the edge? If that’s your fetish…

“Could he get in and be trouble with the tight ends?”

Gotta give him time to decide what he wants to do before you give him hell.

Stay tuned for the preseason quotes and once the preseason starts, look for the honorable mentions that didn’t quite make the cut from this game. You won’t want to miss it!

 

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Draft Edition #3 ~ With @MeganSlayer

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The draft created so many great quotes. I couldn’t let the multiple rounds go without commentary. Besides, it’s a reason to talk about the Bengals and football!! Who Dey!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“Most explosive back.” 

He does leave his mark.

“A little grabby.”

It’s all about the scene and what works.

“Does have a little tightness.”

Because anything less is uncivilized.

“Plays under control and regains when he needs to.”

He’s the man.

“He loves tight ends.”

And they love him, too.

“Took a long time to get under there.”

He’s learning his way around and wanted to really get the lay of the land. He’s thorough.

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Draft Edition #2 with @MeganSlayer

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I couldn’t let the draft go by without checking for quotes and I wasn’t let down. Not a bit. These guys really need to think before they speak. Ha! But it’s a boon for me and my readers. But before I forget, Joe Mixon, Jordan Willis, Carl Lawson, Josh Malone, Ryan Glasgow, Jake Elliott, JJ Dielman, Jordan Evans, Brandon Wilson and Mason Schreck for the Bengals.  I’m for the picks. Yes. Who Dey!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“A physical freak.” 

That’s not a nice thing to say…not all of the time.

“You can’t put it anywhere better.”

There are a few places that go without saying.

“Throws open the slot receiver.”

Because anything less is uncivilized.

“He’s got a little edge to him.”

Enough said.

“Getting around guys; not getting picked.”

He’s very particular.

“He’s quick–can get up fast.”

He’s got great recovery time.

“Body catcher

Hmm… I’d like to see that in photo or real life form.

“Having guys who are dual threats.”

This needs to go on film.

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Draft Edition with @MeganSlayer

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I couldn’t let the draft go by without checking for quotes and I wasn’t let down. Not a bit. These guys really need to think before they speak. Ha! But it’s a boon for me and my readers. But before I forget, John Ross for the Bengals.  I’m for the pick. Yes. Who Dey!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“He’s got get-off and burst.” 

Hee hee. Hopefully he doesn’t make a mess, too.

“Dominating physical presence.”

He’s a big guy. He’d better be dominating.

“Creating separation with power.”

Because anything less is uncivilized.

“He loves tight ends; loves receivers.”

Enough said.

“Finds the hole and fills it.”

Probably what he’s supposed to do. It’s appreciated.

“He can’t carry a major load.”

Because it’s already spent.

“Quick and responsive.”

Better than slow and lazy.

“He’s got the arm; he’s got the athletic ability…but can he be competitive in the pocket?”

That’s up to him. If he can use what he’s got, then he’s fine. If not, then they’ve got issues.

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ The Big Game Commercials

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I’m only linking to the commercials I liked the best. Here’s my rundown of MY top 6 funny/touching/heartwarming S*u*per *Bowl* commercials:

Honorable Mention for Just Plain Funny, but Painful: Melissa McCarthy/Kia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dQ9a5EFZeI

Honorable Mention for Girl Power and the Power of Dad: Audi  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6u10YPk_34

Honorable Mention for the Power of Believing in Yourself: Honda  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f06ng5cII8o

Honorable Mention for Togetherness and Never Giving Up: 84 Lumber  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPo2B-vjZ28

6. Terry Bradshaw – Tide Stain – props for building social media awareness on it. Plus, it was totally believable that Bradshaw would be wearing his dinner. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ykZZlG2ITk

5.Buick – Cam Newton/Miranda Kerr – I loved the little boy who was open. He’s open! Until he realizes Cam Newton will throw it…then maybe not. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nx2PMnSzCB4

4. Yellow Tail Wine – Want to Pet My Roo? My Roo Needs to Breathe. Hey, they got innuendo into the big game. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnLm8pbkZZM

3. NFL – Football is Family – the babies conceived as a result of the big game. I loved the Belichick baby. Too cute. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9csH_Hy-7A4

2. Mr. Clean – Gotta love a man who cleans. Mr. Clean shaking his groove thing. Too funny. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDzMxlw2Fgo

1. Ford – Everyone gets into jams… I ask you…why didn’t anyone help the cat? Yes, he’s content, but still. Help the cat. Watch it here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhtHflDrnAU

Which one was your favorite? Which stood out to you? Let me know!