Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Preseason #3 @meganslayer #football

d1b90-monday2bmorning2bquarterback2bposter

We’ve made it to week three and so far, the season hasn’t disappointed. There’s the new helmet-to-helmet contact rule, the rule about leading with the head and the new kick off rule. I agree with the helmet rules. Gotta use your head, but not for dangerous stuff. As for the kick off rule, I’m not sold.

But this is for fun. Here are the quotes.

“Three wide tight ends.” ~ Either they’re wide or tight. Don’t know if they can be both.

“Two open receivers.” ~ Looking for the tight ends, no doubt.

“Needs to put it where it goes.” ~ And they say football isn’t sexual or dirty…

“Looking for a tight end.” ~ Keep looking. They’re everywhere.

“Got the best tight end.” ~ Well, at least he found one.

“Penetrate from Cleveland.” ~ Yeah, this was said. Still not sure what they meant.

“Double moves – timing hard to time up.” ~ Again, it was said. They meant getting their timing right, but who doesn’t have timing issues now and again?

My favorite quote of the week involves more penetration. I mean, it was a theme along with the tight ends. I have to wonder if the commentators ever LISTEN to what they say when they say it. Oh well.

“Got penetration to speed up the procedure.” ~ Um… okay?

b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Stay tuned for more Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback posts. Not much longer and we’ll be at the start of regular season!

bba08-bengals2bbanner

Advertisements

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Preseason #2 @meganslayer #football

d1b90-monday2bmorning2bquarterback2bposter

For the second week of preseason, there were even more comments and funny bits. I can’t wait to share them with you.

“Good job staying up and fighting for everything he could get.” ~ What’d you expect? For him to roll over and quit?

“Waiting for the tight end to break open.” ~ Is he a watermelon? Pumpkin?

“Not many balls on the field.” ~ They’re nervous. They’ll get better.

“One of the most dynamic players in the league.” ~ He’s a winner.

“Who else can do that? This guy on the edge.” ~ He’s that winner.

“Coming on the inside.” ~ Messy.

“Penetrates the left side.” ~ As opposed to all of it?

And my favorite:

“Hits the soft spot and you don’t want to do that.” ~ Um… Which one? I mean, being mean isn’t cool, so there’s that, but… Maybe the soft spot is a favorite? Still, you shouldn’t hit.

b688e-qb_andy_dalton.jpg

Stay tuned for more Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback posts. 🙂

bba08-bengals2bbanner

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Preseason #1 @meganslayer #football

d1b90-monday2bmorning2bquarterback2bposter

I’ve been a little derelict in my posting of the football funnies. Last year was just…it’s time to look forward. There are some interesting commentators this year so let’s get started.

“Young guys coming together.” ~ I sure hope so or we won’t have a game.

“Likes his tight ends.” ~ Don’t we all?

“Nothing open.” ~ It happens.

“Lots of talent on the field.” ~ So many to choose from.

“Waiting for a hole to develop.” ~ Sounds like a bad pickup line.

“Pressure on his face.” ~ From the tight ends?

“You’ve got your package.” ~ That’s what we’d all like sooner or later.

And my favorite…

“Drilled him.” ~ Can’t say it better than that.

b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Stay tuned for the next episode of Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback. I’ll be here all year.

bba08-bengals2bbanner

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback, Regular Season, Week 11 #football #funny @meganslayer

d1b90-monday2bmorning2bquarterback2bposter

We another win. Against the Broncos… TYG I can’t take more of these nail biters.

Let’s launch right into the Honorable Mentions because it’s time to laugh:

“Still jiggling a little bit.” 

Quaint.

“Got it up and through.”

As opposed to going below.

“Not the front side; the backside.”

Some guys need a reminder.

“Gang tackling.”

Wow. Ouch

Now for the Quotes from Week 11. Sometimes…yeah, just think before you speak. This is live TV.

“Young tight end; they love ’em here.”

He is popular.

“Jumbo package.”

Along with the tight end. He’s a winner.

“Get up quick.”

As opposed to going slowly.

“One on one outside.”

Because it’s fun!

“One on one on top.”

Puppy pile!!

Now for the Doozy of the Week. There is always one quote that just…blows the mind. This one is a real ringer. 

“A very clean game. Made good decisions.”

He’s trying anyway. I hate when it’s a messy game. Grin.

~ ~ ~

Side notes:

  • Once they get stuck on a word, like lumber, they don’t stop.
  • Once they pick a favorite, they don’t budge. I guess they’re all stuck in ruts.

**Here’s to a good season, less CTE, more great plays and lots of fun! My Bengals are starting to look better. Whew. Oh, and WHO DEY!**

bba08-bengals2bbanner

b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback, Regular Season, Week 10 #football #funny @meganslayer

d1b90-monday2bmorning2bquarterback2bposter

Well, poo. It’s not our time. Just not. Ejections, losses… oy.

Let’s launch right into the Honorable Mentions because it’s time to laugh. I need a few.

“Draws the defense inside and they get comfy in there.” 

Better than tearing it all up.

“They’ve done it all different ways.”

Variety is the spice of life.

“The center just rises up.”

He’s fun when he’s hard.

“Force him in positions he doesn’t want.”

That’s not nice.

Now for the Quotes from Week 10. Sometimes…yeah, just think before you speak. This is live TV.

“Comfortable in the pocket.”

He knows where he likes.

“Packages!”

Is that the new name for it?

“Rotate in a fresh body.”

Hinky!

“Just in the pocket and seeing what’s there.”

Lots of pocket action today.

“A big player in there.”

But no one’s complaining.

Now for the Doozy of the Week. There is always one quote that just…blows the mind. This one is a real ringer. 

“Stuffed up the middle with two tight ends.”

Muwhahahahahaha! Sometimes the simple answer is the funniest. He got what he wanted.

~ ~ ~

Side notes:

  • Once they get stuck on a word, like lumber, they don’t stop.
  • Once they pick a favorite, they don’t budge. I guess they’re all stuck in ruts.

**Here’s to a good season, less CTE, more great plays and lots of fun! My Bengals are starting to look better. Whew. Oh, and WHO DEY!**

bba08-bengals2bbanner

b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback, Regular Season, Week 9 #football #funny @meganslayer

d1b90-monday2bmorning2bquarterback2bposter

We managed to win against the Colts. Wasn’t pretty. Wasn’t easy. At least the trade between the Bengals and the Browns to get rid of McCarron didn’t go through. TYG

Let’s launch right into the Honorable Mentions because it’s time to laugh:

“Draws the defense inside and they get comfy in there.” 

Quaint.

“They’ve done it all different ways.”

Is there any other method?

“The center just rises up.”

I assume that’s where he wants it to go.

“0-2 for deep shots.”

That’s bad. Poor him.

Now for the Quotes from Week 9. Sometimes…yeah, just think before you speak. This is live TV.

“Went deep in the play.”

He needed to keep it strung out.

“Up the gut.”

He broke that 0-2 streak.

“Brought more people to the line.”

Conga!

“Coming around on a pull.”

I want photos of that.

 

“Threw off the angles of pursuit.”

But no one’s complaining.

Now for the Doozy of the Week. There is always one quote that just…blows the mind. This one is a real ringer. 

“Opened things up for him.”

A fluffer!

~ ~ ~

Side notes:

  • Once they get stuck on a word, like lumber, they don’t stop.
  • Once they pick a favorite, they don’t budge. I guess they’re all stuck in ruts.

**Here’s to a good season, less CTE, more great plays and lots of fun! My Bengals are starting to look better. Whew. Oh, and WHO DEY!**

bba08-bengals2bbanner

b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback, Regular Season, Week 8 #football #funny @meganslayer

d1b90-monday2bmorning2bquarterback2bposter

Well…this hasn’t been the best of weeks for my team. Not good. The game…wasn’t good. But there will be another. Always is until the end of the season.

Let’s launch right into the Honorable Mentions because it’s time to laugh:

“Squatted on that route.” 

Gross.

“Gonna go over your head.”

Better than in your eye.

“When he goes to the left side, he goes into the slot.”

I assume that’s where he wants it to go.

“A lot of leg on it.”

And they’ll feel it in the morning.

Now for the Quotes from Week 8. Sometimes…yeah, just think before you speak. This is live TV.

“Rips it out.”

Better than leaving it in too long.

“Got good penetration.”

Yet, he ripped it out. Hmm.

“Explosion to the second level.”

Now he’s working for level three and a high score.

“Just barely fits in there.”

Because he’s trying to fit it in there.

“Backs continue to mount.”

Orgy! Orgy! Orgy!

“Undersized in the middle.”

But no one’s complaining.

Now for the Doozy of the Week. There is always one quote that just…blows the mind. This one is a real ringer. 

“Tamp him on the butt and say let’s go do it here again.”

At least they have a plan.

~ ~ ~

Side notes:

  • Gruden’s Man Crush? Clowney and his big body. Get a room.
  • Why do the announcers only talk about the Steelers? There are more teams than just that one. They’re having issues and aren’t number one over all… find someone else for a change.

**Here’s to a good season, less CTE, more great plays and lots of fun! My Bengals are starting to look better. Whew. Oh, and WHO DEY!**

bba08-bengals2bbanner

b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0