A Little Story with @meganslayer #relivingthepast #bullies #nomore #bekind

I want to tell you a little story, it’s a true one, from my childhood. It’s actually from my teen years, but someone told me once that’s part of childhood. Don’t tell my teen that–he swears he’s not a child. But this story involves my freshman year of school.

When I was in high school, think Freaks and Geeks time, we were required to take 2 semesters of gym class over the course of the first two years. I hate gym. I don’t like to run. Don’t like to sweat and I’m not the most coordinated kid out there. I’m still not. But I was required to take gym.

One girl, I’ll call her Alice, didn’t like me. I don’t know why. To this day, I can’t remember why. I will admit I had a bit of a snob complex. Broken HeartNot because we had money. We didn’t. But because I liked being right. Sounds silly now. But I liked doing things the right way. Have a deadline for a paper? I’ll get mine in a day before because it’s the right thing to do. Need a ride? I’ll give you a life because it’s the right thing to do. That sort of action. Get good grades because…you guessed it…it’s the right thing to do.

So Alice is in my gym class. She’s a grade ahead of me and much more athletically talented than I ever will be. I believe she played basketball for the school. Bu she hated me. I mean HATED. I don’t know why. Really. I tried to avoid her whenever possible because I didn’t like conflict. Oh, I could be a moody teen when I wanted, but I did then and still do tend to avoid conflict.

But she sought me out. If we were changing in the locker room – why the room was always dimly lit, I’ll never know – but she’d made comments. She’d mention my underdevelopment or my sometimes ratty clothes (I said we weren’t exactly well off), or my hair. She loved to insult my hair. I let it grow way out until it was past my butt. Then around grade 8, I cut most of it off. I got tired of the endless shampooing and drying. I hated wearing it mostly in a braid because there was too much of it to do much with. I’ll agree the haircut I got wasn’t great. It was a bowl cut back when those things were cool. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t thought it was so neat. But that’s another story for another day.

Alice knew I wasn’t confident. I’ve had body issues all my life. She knew where to jab to make the most impression. I remember being told I should shave my head and start over again because it might improve my looks. I have thin eyebrows. Always have. She’d leave me little notes on the desk we shared in American History class that mentioned my lack of eyebrows and how it made me ugly. I hated going to that class and I love history. I hated gym, too, and now I had dual reasons for it.

We were in gym and she’d given me the latest insult about my outfit being uncool – I was wearing flannel before flannel was a thing. It was warm and we had flannels. Shrugs. Anyway, she’d insulted me, then left a note in my gym locker. She wanted me to die. She’d told me plenty of times I should kill myself because the world didn’t want to look at me and I did my best to brush it off. I said I don’t like confrontation. But this note really got to me.

She threatened to beat the living hell out of me. Granted, she was a rough kid. She liked to fight. No, she loved it. But this was going too far. Beating the hell out of someone…

Who does that? Over your looks? It was common then as much as it is now. I tried to block out how the note made me feel, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to rock the boat, mostly because I thought she really would beat me up and I don’t know how to fight. I don’t remember if I gave the note to my mother or if she found it, but she ended up with it and was pissed. Like, went right to the school and marched into the principal’s office that day pissed. I was mortified. I just knew Alice would find out – mostly because she’d get into trouble – and would follow through on her threat.

Things did happen. I was hauled down to the principal’s office and accused of causing the argument. If I hadn’t provoked her – I was never told HOW I’d done it, but I’d brought it on myself – then she wouldn’t have had to retaliate. We were told to make amends and to stay away from each other. My classes were changed so we didn’t run into each other.

I’ll admit, I’ve stuck up for myself a few times and I don’t always back down, but in this instance, I did. I was a coward. I didn’t want to get my face mashed over someone having a problem with it. I didn’t try to kill myself, but I tried any and all means to get out of gym class and any other event that brought me in Alice’s circles. I hated the person I saw when I looked in the mirror because I thought, if she finds fault with me, then others do, too. If there are faults, then I’m less of a person.

In retrospect, it’s stupid. I’m not less of a person because she didn’t like me. That was on her. I never should’ve given her power over me, but I did. Once you’re bullied, you don’t forget it. I can’t say I’ve been perfect. I’m human. There are some people I just don’t get along with. That said, I’ve tried to take the high road and avoid them. You can’t get into trouble if you’re not around what causes you to get in trouble, right? Or I try to keep a stiff upper lip and be nice, even when I don’t feel that way. I’ve been catty. It happens. Doesn’t make up for my behavior to say it happens. I’m human. I make mistakes. I’d like to think the same goes for Alice. Maybe when she looks back on that incident, she’d like to do it differently. Maybe she doesn’t think about me at all. I don’t know.

I guess my point is no matter how nice or sweet you think you are, there will always be people who don’t like you. No matter how catty you are, it’s not right. You might think your actions aren’t doing harm, but you never know just how deep those cuts go. You may never find out.  You might have said something that was totally innocent and not intended to be mean, but was taken out of context and ruins a relationship. It happens. It’s not right and not fair, but it happens.

We’ve only got so much time on this planet. Why not make the most of it and live in harmony? Simply put, don’t be a dick.


My Favorite Mistake by @wendizwaduk #mf #romance #secondchances #love

My Favorite Mistake myfavoritemistake_800

From Totally Bound

Full Length Novel

Contemporary, M/F, Erotic

She’s always known who she wanted. Now she’s needs to find the strength to make him see they’re more than a mistake.

Molly Neff creates promotional art for companies with confidence and her working partner is sex on legs. Austin Dean is sexy, smart and everything she’s wanted in a man since the moment they met. They’ve slept together a couple of times, but things haven’t worked out between them. When another woman enters the picture, can Molly convince Austin they belong together or will the relationship end up scrapped for a better idea?

As much as he likes working with Molly, Austin wants more out of life than creating advertising campaigns for others. He wants to be the star. Molly has always been his good luck charm—with her brains and charm, she helps him make his dream come true. But his starring role comes with complications. He’s always sort of known he loved Molly, but another woman wants his attention. Will he choose Molly and a simple life with her or the bright lights of fame?

Available in February from Totally Bound:


Universal Link: https://books2read.com/u/bP18Bd

amazon print: https://www.amazon.com/My-Favorite-Mistake-Wendi-Zwaduk/dp/1786861070/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1484006559&sr=1-3-fkmr0&keywords=saturday+night+special+wendi+zwaduk 


©Wendi Zwaduk, 2017, All Rights Reserved


“I don’t know,” Austin called. “I think we need a couple of selfie ones.”

She froze. Selfie ones. Yeah, a personal shot would be good. She handed her phone to him without looking back at him. “Go for it.”

“Thank you.”

She didn’t bother to watch. She’d seen him photograph himself plenty of times. He always managed to take the best shots and never had his hair out of place or his eyes funny. When she tried to take selfies, she looked ridiculous.

“I did a couple.” Austin eased up beside her and draped his arm around her shoulders. “Smile.”

When she glanced up, he snapped a photo.

“Why did you do that?” she asked and reached for the phone.

“Because you’re adorable.” He kissed her temple and took another picture. “And I love to irritate you.” He kept her phone and strolled away from her. “Aura is going to love what you’re doing. They’re lucky we’re doing this.”

“Correction. They asked specifically for you. I got to do this because they had to take me.” She tucked the notebook back in her bag and slid the memory card from her camera. “Want me to take off? You’ve probably got a girlfriend dying to spend the night with you.”

Austin groaned and took the memory card from her hands. He led her across the room to the bed and tugged her down beside him. “You make me sound like I can’t keep my dick in my pants.”

She shrugged, not wanting to argue with him. Austin liked to date and loved to tell her about his dates. “You like all the girls you’re with, then you sleep with them and the relationship falls apart. I don’t know if the shine is gone or your attention span is that small, but you can’t commit.”

“You sound like Serena.”

“I’ve been witness to almost all of your relationships since college.” She stood, but he tugged her back onto the bed. “Austin, stop playing with my head, okay?”

“No.” He grabbed the remote and switched on the television. “How can I stop playing with your head? I invited you to stay the night with me in a hotel room. I never said we had to fuck or that I expected something from you. The idea of the photos was your idea—a great one at that—but I’m just going along. Relax and let me give you a great night.”

She scrubbed both hands over her face again and sighed. Being alone with him wasn’t an awful idea. She’d fallen hard for Austin so many times. At least this time she had photos for later. When he moved on and found the woman of his dreams, she’d have a reminder of the man who owned her heart.

“Well?” He met her gaze and grinned. “What do you think?”

“Sure.” What else did she have to lose?


Saturday Seven ~ 7 Favorite Law & Order Characters with @meganslayer #saturdayseven #longandshortreviews #tv #characters #lawandorder

This time around for the Saturday Seven, I wanted to list my favorite characters from the show Law and Order. Not the spinoffs, but the original. I’m very particular about this show. It’s one of the only ones I’ve ever been upset about it going off the air. Yeah, I was irked. I don’t care that some said it was tired. Bah. I loved it. The show was TV crack. So here are my 7 favorite characters in no particular order:

7. Jack McCoy – he kicked legal butt and took no prisoners. I liked that they made him human, too, by having the relationship with Claire and her not surviving.

6. Claire Kincaid – she held her own with all those boys and still took names. I liked her strength and her ability to be vulnerable while still being strong.

5. Anita Van Buren – she ran the precinct, battled cancer, had faults, but knew how to hold he own. I loved her strength. Get the hint? I do like strong women characters. 🙂

4. Ed Green – he could be street, smart, funny and bounced off Lennie so well. I liked the combo of Lennie and Ed.

3. Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers  – the medical examiner with the mostest. I loved how she could be so deadpan…pardon the pun. She rocked.

2. Mike Logan – he had some great lines and was fallible. Plus he had great hair. I loved the pairing of Mike and Lennie. They’re some of my all-time favorite episodes.

1. Lennie Briscoe – the guy had the quips. He was tough, hard, soft, and had a heart of gold, despite being able to break your kneecaps.

What about you? Did you have a favorite I didn’t mention? Probably did. Why? There were a lot of characters. Let me know.


Life with Cats ~ Writing, Working, Supervising ~ with @meganslayer #captainamerica #lifewithcats #cats #jeepauthor #iamwriting

the baby

This installment of life with cats involves me trying to write the other day and me trying to sort out an issue yesterday. Doesn’t seem too exciting, does it? When there are cats involved, it’s never dull.

Two days ago while writing, I’m getting seriously into the story. Like…the climax of everything. I needed to concentrate. No interruptions kind of concentrate. I had X-Men: Days of Future Past playing and I paid James McAvoy no attention. Yeah. I was getting intense.

Then I hear it. Crying. Well, more like crying and begging, but in the form of the cat meowing. Captain America, so named because his white patch on his nose and chin looks like the Avengers A and it seemed like a good name at the time, wanted to play ball. He does fetch like a dog. It’s funny. He finds the paper ball, brings it kind of over and stares at you. When you don’t respond, he cries. It’s like, oh my gosh you’re not paying attention to me…and I want to play. But most of the time when he does this, he’s out of sight. Like…in the other room and I have no idea he’s even in there until he cries. Oh and this boy is a master of stealth, too. One minute he’s one place and the next he’s somewhere else and I have no idea when he went from point A to point B.

So I’m writing and getting into the story and he’s crying. Of course that rips me out of the story. I mean, I thought he’d gotten locked in a room or something. He does helpless well. Because I’m concerned, I put the story down and hunt for him. He’s sitting on the steps with the ball in front of him and looking very annoyed that it took me this long to bother to arrive to pitch the ball for him. Needless to say, once we’d done this two or three times and he’d decided he was bored, I’d lost all concentration on the story. Sometimes I think he knows he does it and it’s a special thrill for him.

Then there was yesterday. We have two cats. I had three, but one passed back before Christmas. Toughest decision of my life. I hate putting animals down. Even if he was failing and fast, it still sucked. Anyway, the black cat, Cap’s adoptive brother is missing a few screws. I really think when he was in the oven, so to speak, Momma left a few pieces out. He’s a neurotic cat.

So I’m dealing with an issue on a program. I’m the publicity chair for the author brunch and I’m in charge of the program. I wanted said program to look neat, professional and clean. I had the whole thing planned out and emailed the entire plan in document form, plus the banners, plus the menu, to the person who puts it all together. There shouldn’t have been an issue. I mean, it’s copy/paste from the one last year AND I had it all spelled out in the document. Should’ve been easy peasy. But this person swears, despite having acknowledged the email with the information all in and attached to it, that he never got the right stuff. Irked the crap out of me. I have proof he did get it.

In the middle of my having a conniption, the black cat, Vader, strolls over to where I’m sitting. He’s neurotic, but he’s also nosy. Oh, and he loves pens. I had a pen in hand, taking notes, when he decided I didn’t need the pen and didn’t need the notes. He sat on the notes and stole the pen. Instead of getting even more irritated, the interruption actually helped. I appreciated his decision as my supervisor, to step in and de-escalate the situation. So anyone who says cats aren’t therapeutic is wrong.

They know when to step in, when to cause chaos and when to be themselves. I might get some writing done today. Might get to concentrate. I’m not counting on it. I know these two. They’re goofballs, but they’re nice goofballs. I can’t imagine life without them.


Must Be Doing Something Right by @WendiZwaduk #mfromance #romance #erotic #NSFW

Must Be Doing Something Right 517TPK4IKnL

Wendi Zwaduk

M/F, Voyeurism, Mild BDSM, Bondage and Anal sex

Totally Bound

Short Story

If she can open her heart, she’ll find he’s her naughtiest dream come true. Being mischievous with him is exactly what she needs.

Nate Waterford knows exactly who he wants in his bed and his heart, but he’s on guard. When women find out his profession, they see dollar signs. He’s been hurt by gold diggers and he’s not about to fall in love – until he sees Courteney. She’s his fantasy come to life and once he gets her in his arms, he’ll be damned before he considers letting her go. Unless she tells him to go to hell first…

Despite her success as a fledgling romance author, Courteney Bennett’s had her share of bad relationships. She’s attracted to her best guy friend, Nate, and she’s not ready to throw a friendship away for one night of passion – even if his idea of desire puts the hottest scenes in her erotica stories to shame.

Is her heart a fair price to pay for an evening to remember or will it be the biggest mistake of her life?

Available at:

Totally Bound: https://www.totallybound.com/book/must-be-doing-something-right

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wendi-Zwaduk/e/B003KA589U/



And now for an excerpt:

©Wendi Zwaduk, 2010, All Rights Reserved

I want a woman who will drive me crazy in every possible way.

If she loved him in return.

Nathan Waterford slammed the door to his navy blue Blazer and strode across the asphalt into Besta Pizza Around. He smoothed his hand over the lump of bills in his pocket and tucked the insulated pizza bag under his arm.

On a steamy Saturday night in July, he’d rather be in bed with the woman of his dreams, not working to earn a dime he didn’t need. His day job as an estate lawyer paid the bills, but being at the pizza shop got him closer to Courteney, the woman in his heart.

Hell, if he played his cards right, his desires might come to fruition. One day…

Crestline, Ohio wasn’t a teeming metropolis, but Nate and his business partner, Arran Mayes aimed to create the best little restaurant in the quiet farming community. The scent of tomatoes and yeast swirled around Nate, making his stomach rumble. When did I eat last?

Behind the bar, Arran stood drying a beer stein. “Well, you got your wish, my friend.”

As he slapped the silver bag onto the polished wooden bar, Nate glanced at the remaining patrons in the dining room. A couple giggled in the corner booth, while a trio of students wolfed down the last few slices of pizza at the round table under the window. Good times. He remembered being so carefree, before he had to become a man and work for a living.

“And you’re talking about what?” Nate shook his head and leaned on the bar rail. “Get me up to speed.”

Arran sighed and plunked the glass onto the towel. “You missed drama involving your girl.”

His wish? His girl?

Confused, Nate stared at his ruddy-haired friend. If his memory served him, Courteney Bennett belonged to no man. Nate had seriously considered making a play for the saucy little romance writer. From her chocolate-coloured tresses and her consuming mocha eyes, down her curvy body to the tips of her toes, he longed to make her his. He itched to grasp her hips while driving into her from behind. She turned him on like no other.

Thank God the bar covered the tent in his jeans.

“Don’t look at me like you’re surprised.” Rolling his eyes, Arran picked up a wide mouth wine goblet. “As you know, Courteney and Byron split two months ago. Well, he came back to—” he hooked his fingers in the air, “—make things right.” Arran snorted. “His version of making things right meant parading his new girlfriend, Amber something-or-another, right under Court’s nose. The jerk.”



My Grandmother Used to Say…Eat What’s On Your Plate with @meganslayer #mygrandmotherusedtosay #advice

Grandmother Banner

I can’t be the only one whose grandmother (or someone else in their life) reminded them to finish their dinner. In my case, it was my grandmother. We’d sit down for family meals and she’d remind everyone to eat what’s on their plate. My grandfather had a saying, if you don’t like it, don’t take it…but that’s for another post. Grandma was adamant. You’ve put it on your plate, so you’d better eat it.

I won’t lie. When I was a kid, it drove me crazy. Not because I overloaded my plate, but because she’d ‘add’ things to it. Like the beets I never did enjoy or the mush. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand mush. Blech. But I ate what was on my plate.

This motto has translated to my writing career, though. Food and writing? Are you confused yet? Don’t be. I’m one of those people who tends to take on more than I should. I agree to a lot and try to accomplish as much as I can. If it’s on my plate, I do it. I’ve been told I have a healthy work ethic. I don’t know if that’s true. I just know when I have something to do, I do it.

I’m helping with a small author event in my local town. It’s going to be a nice event, but every time I think I’ve accomplished something, another task pops up. It feels like I’m not getting anywhere. But I keep going. I keep trying. I’m still trying to finish what I put on the plate and what was added for me.

Grandma was on to something. If you say you’re going to do something, then do it. Know what you’re getting into, and don’t be shocked when it’s a lot.

What about you? Got any advice? I’m all ears. 🙂


Life with Dogs ~ @meganslayer #iamwriting #writinglovescenes #concentrating #lifewithdogs

Darlington 2018As I sit here, I’m trying to work on one of my romances. I’ve come to the part where the characters will give into their physical desires and well, you know…inserting tab A into slot A. It’s hot and exciting.

But it’s also not going the way I want. Why? The dog is next to me making her gagging sound – lends to romance so well, right? Licking, snorting and just being a dog. RIGHT NEXT TO ME. It’s distracting.

I can’t write sex when the dog is making strange noises next to me. They’re all normal dog noises. She’s fine. She had her most recent check-up yesterday. There’s a chance the glaucoma that was in her left eye could migrate over to her only remaining eye. It’s good the glaucoma hasn’t migrated, but bad that it could. I’m hopeful for now. She makes a gaggy noise that’s a reverse sneeze and it’s been more frequent of late. You guessed it…she’s been making that noise while I’m trying to write. The reverse sneeze isn’t anything that will hurt her. Sounds horrible. But when she was under anesthesia, the trach tube messed with her trachea. The flap that modulates between the opening to her lungs and her tummy was what got messed up. It takes time to go back to normal after a surgery and that’s what’s causing the gaggy noise.

So she’s fine, but noisy. She wanders a lot, too. I think it’s still her trying to get her bearings now that she’s only got one eye, but when she’s left alone, she sometimes puddles on the floor. She’s 13, so it happens. I try not to leave her alone unsupervised, but it’s hard when the story is working and I really want to be writing.

Don’t take this as me disliking my dog. I love her dearly. She’s my dog. My girl. Don’t take this as complaining, either. It’s not. I know she’s slowing down and getting older. That’s how life works. Nothing lasts forever.

This is my life as a writer with a dog. It’s not glamorous or thrilling all the time. It’s fun, dirty, messy, turbulent, but also fantastic.