Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Preseason, Week 1 ~ @meganslayer #football

This feature will be moving to Mondays, but this week it’s on Thursday. Hey, gotta switch things up from time to time. 🙂 It’s preseason, so it’s time to start laughing it up!!

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My Bengals aren’t in my local market area, so I didn’t get to see the game live, but I held my breath through parts of it. Whew. Driskel looked good, so I’m told and I’m hoping Dalton and McCarron just needed to knock the rust off. Mixon…I’m pulling for him and Ross. I think they’ve got what it takes to be impressive. Here’s to hoping so. I’m wanting better than a .500 season.

It’s time for the preseason quotes. There were a few goodies from the Hall of Fame game that didn’t quite make the cut last time around, but they’re here now! Let’s get started.

“Asked him to move inside.” 

Yeah, you can’t pause for too long or it’s uncomfortable.

“He gets beat and beat by a good one.”

If he’s not moving, then most anything would beat him. Just sayin’. It’s not a race. Sometimes you’ve got to move.

“He gets bunched up before he turns the corner.”

Well…if he’s got a bit of a curve to him, then that could be a problem. No wonder he’s not moving.

“Sliding in the pocket.”

There we go. He’s got it now. Just needed a little…push.

“Hauls this one in–good hands.”

Yeah, he is good. Now that he’s got his mojo…look out!

Now for those wonderful quotes this week from the various preseason games. You won’t want to miss these.

“Can get very sloppy.”

He just used a little too much lube. It’s all good.

“Providing some heat up in there.”

Ah…hot sauce play.  If that’s your fetish…

“Getting manhandled up front.”

If he’s the guy from before that wasn’t moving, then he’s got it coming. Can’t hold still for too long or that push will get you.

“A small crease.”

Because he is tight…

“Meets him in the back.”

They did say they were going on a date. Better to meet in the back than the front where the action is right away.

“The big guy up front will be tested on his endurance.”

As long as it’s not a pencil and paper test, he’ll be just fine.

And now for the Doozy of the Week…this is the one that had me scratching my head the longest or was just so far out there…I couldn’t believe it. Ready?

“Did he get the whole loaf out?”

Yeah… I’m not sure what he’s referencing. There are a couple ways this could be interpreted, but I’m pretty sure bread and football aren’t in the same sentence (usually). Thoughts? I mean, if he’s endowed with a loaf… holy cow… and if it’s the other kind…yeah, don’t want to see that.

Well, those are the first week of the madness. Technically the second week, but it’s the first week of full action. Here’s to a good season, less CTE, more great plays and lots of fun! Oh, and WHO DEY!

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Hall of Fame Game Edition ~ @meganslayer #football

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My Bengals didn’t play in the Hall of Fame game and that’s okay. The season will come soon enough. Until then, there were some great quotes from the game. The Cardinals and Cowboys were interesting and the comments were hilarious!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“They won’t see action tonight.” 

Why not? Were they in a time out?

“to present you.”

Must mean I’m out of time out.

“He was a stunning man.”

He is a stud.

“He came off the edge.”

He’s the man.

“You don’t want to end up getting involved with those guys.”

Because they play on the edge? If that’s your fetish…

“Could he get in and be trouble with the tight ends?”

Gotta give him time to decide what he wants to do before you give him hell.

Stay tuned for the preseason quotes and once the preseason starts, look for the honorable mentions that didn’t quite make the cut from this game. You won’t want to miss it!

 

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

#Football is Coming! #footballisfamily #footballislife @meganslayer

There is football this weekend. Okay, so it’s the Hall of Fame game and some discount it. I don’t care. There will be football. I’m not into the big hits or the controversy. I just want to watch a great game. I’m excited to see the fun and thrill of the game. I know there will be some craziness. I know the league really needs to do more about the CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) because there are players who left the game and are really in a bad way. But there is football. I’m happy. I’m going to watch and cheer. I’m also going to write down those comical things the ridiculous commentators say because it is coming on to Football Funnies time. Grin. Plus, I might have to work on another football story. It feels about time to do so and there are characters talking to me.

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Paul Brown Stadium in Cincinnati.<br> Photo shot by Derek Jensen (Tysto), 2005-August-04 {{cc-by-2.0}} Category:Cincinnati, Ohio Category:Stadiums

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Draft Edition #3 ~ With @MeganSlayer

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The draft created so many great quotes. I couldn’t let the multiple rounds go without commentary. Besides, it’s a reason to talk about the Bengals and football!! Who Dey!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“Most explosive back.” 

He does leave his mark.

“A little grabby.”

It’s all about the scene and what works.

“Does have a little tightness.”

Because anything less is uncivilized.

“Plays under control and regains when he needs to.”

He’s the man.

“He loves tight ends.”

And they love him, too.

“Took a long time to get under there.”

He’s learning his way around and wanted to really get the lay of the land. He’s thorough.

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Draft Edition #2 with @MeganSlayer

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I couldn’t let the draft go by without checking for quotes and I wasn’t let down. Not a bit. These guys really need to think before they speak. Ha! But it’s a boon for me and my readers. But before I forget, Joe Mixon, Jordan Willis, Carl Lawson, Josh Malone, Ryan Glasgow, Jake Elliott, JJ Dielman, Jordan Evans, Brandon Wilson and Mason Schreck for the Bengals.  I’m for the picks. Yes. Who Dey!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“A physical freak.” 

That’s not a nice thing to say…not all of the time.

“You can’t put it anywhere better.”

There are a few places that go without saying.

“Throws open the slot receiver.”

Because anything less is uncivilized.

“He’s got a little edge to him.”

Enough said.

“Getting around guys; not getting picked.”

He’s very particular.

“He’s quick–can get up fast.”

He’s got great recovery time.

“Body catcher

Hmm… I’d like to see that in photo or real life form.

“Having guys who are dual threats.”

This needs to go on film.

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Draft Edition with @MeganSlayer

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I couldn’t let the draft go by without checking for quotes and I wasn’t let down. Not a bit. These guys really need to think before they speak. Ha! But it’s a boon for me and my readers. But before I forget, John Ross for the Bengals.  I’m for the pick. Yes. Who Dey!!!

Now, about those quotes…

“He’s got get-off and burst.” 

Hee hee. Hopefully he doesn’t make a mess, too.

“Dominating physical presence.”

He’s a big guy. He’d better be dominating.

“Creating separation with power.”

Because anything less is uncivilized.

“He loves tight ends; loves receivers.”

Enough said.

“Finds the hole and fills it.”

Probably what he’s supposed to do. It’s appreciated.

“He can’t carry a major load.”

Because it’s already spent.

“Quick and responsive.”

Better than slow and lazy.

“He’s got the arm; he’s got the athletic ability…but can he be competitive in the pocket?”

That’s up to him. If he can use what he’s got, then he’s fine. If not, then they’ve got issues.

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ S*u*per *Bowl*

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Soooo… I picked the Falcons. Honestly, the first 2/3 of the game looked like Brady hadn’t shown up. Oh well. Old Joe Buck got good and hard for a few players. But first, here’s the quotes and the honorable mentions

Let me show you some of those funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“Able to split the gap.”

Better than being completely closed off.

“does a good job coming under the radar.”

He’s also good at cleaning up after himself, too.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“able to stretch it, then get it going.”

When there’s a tight end, you have to prep.

“Those kinds of balls.” 

Are what? Pretty? Big? Bouncy?

“he’s a complete receiver with all he’s able to do.”

that’s why he’s the favorite.

“they’ve got a lot of ’em.”

Then there are a lot of favorites.

“the best strip team ever.”

That’s their side job.

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“Got a lot of weapons on them.”

Cuz he’s packin’!

Special Mention!!

I’m going to start this next year if Joe Buck continues to be an announcer in the 2017-2018 season.

The Joe Buck Boner.

Every week, Joe Buck picks a player that is his favorite. He might say he’s equal opportunity, but come on… He really likes his favorites.

This week? Oh, since it was the big game, Joe didn’t hold back. Not only did he have one, but he went for the threesome. To be fair, he was only on Matt Ryan’s bandwagon when the Falcons were on top. Once they sank, he abandoned them. Then there was the number two guy…Julian Edelman. I like the guy. I do. But according to the Buck-ster, everyone on the team who caught a ball at one time or another was referred to as Julian Edelman. Danny Amendola and Chris Hogan aren’t Julian. Too bad Buck-ster couldn’t tell. Then there was the big poppy, grand-daddy of them all Buck Boner… for Tom Brady. Good Lord. Buck-ster couldn’t stop talking about him…once he was back on top or at least coming back. He’s handsome, he’s quick, he can’t scramble, but he’s this week’s Buck’s Boner…Tom Brady.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0