Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Championship Week

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Woo weee… This is getting interesting.

The quotes practically wrote themselves, too. Good grief, the announcers were definitely original this week.

Let me show you some of those funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“Been getting more and more action.”

Because he’s cute and he cleans up well.

“he sees one getting off.”

And he’s pouting because he wants to be that one getting off.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“He can match up and cover any tight end.”

But he’s more selective than just taking any tight end.

 “Doesn’t give these buy guys much help.” 

Because he’s being selective.

“Has a sack and a half.”

Meaning he’s a special one and he’s the favorite because he has those goods.

“Had to unload a lot sooner than he would’ve liked.”

He got extra excited and it happened. No harm, no foul.

“Loading the box.”

Wasn’t that the point?

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“He’s got to get smaller to stick it in there.”

Um… then this guy is like…bizarrely hung and pictures are needed.

Special Mention!!

I’m going to start this next year if Joe Buck continues to be an announcer in the 2017-2018 season.

The Joe Buck Boner.

Every week, Joe Buck picks a player that is his favorite. He might say he’s equal opportunity, but come on… He really likes his favorites.

This week? Why Aaron Rodgers was the Joe Buck Boner. No matter how lousy the game was, Joe couldn’t take his eyes off Aaron. It was sweet and disgusting at the same time. But you have to love Buck.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Wild Card Week

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Well, we’re not playing, so I can at least enjoy the game. Would’ve been better with the Bengals playing, but it happens. I wish the Giants would’ve done better, as well as the Raiders and the Dolphins, but it happens. I’ve gotten used to resigning myself this season. Hopefully 2017 will be better.

Since it’s that time…let’s get to the funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“the protection up front is working.”

Always good to have working protection.

“He’s got it up the middle.”

Better than going to one side or the other.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“You have to get deeper than that.”

At least make them feel it.

 “An excellent pick-up.” 

When you’ve got the right one, you’ve got the right one.

“Found a hole and stuffed it.”

What else are you supposed to do with that hole?

“3 big bodies in the middle.”

Because they like to be sandwiched by the smaller ones.

“looking for a spark.”

Better to have one than not. Makes the whole situation more pleasurable.

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“He’s good for 14.”

Meaning he can last for that long. 14 turns. Nice.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week 15

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Wowie. Christmas was good, but Christmas Eve football wasn’t so much if you’re a Bengals fan. Geesh. We kept the Texans honest, but still. Blech. How about we move right on to something that’s comical, instead of depressing?

Yes, let’s move forward to the funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“He gets blasted”.

But he loved it.

“From an awkward release.”

Well, we’re not all smooth like some.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“Punished at the point of attack.”

But it was worth it. 

“Can’t get the ball out of your hand any quicker.” 

He had a hard time anticipating the orgasm.

“the man is completely focused.”

He doesn’t want to come all over again!

“Nothing wrong with that middle finger.”

It is rather nice when it’s used for play.

“Comes on a rush.”

 Better than in a rush, right?

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“takes it to him with a huge sack.”

Um… I’m not even sure how that’s possible and I don’t think I want to see it.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week 14

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Playing against the Steelers is never easy. Needless to say, I didn’t watch it all, but the first half was great. Second half? Not so much. Sigh. How about we move right on to something that’s comical, instead of depressing?

Yes, let’s move forward to the funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“A gaping hole”.

It’s been widely used.

“Sacked and seated.”

Sometimes you just have to tap out.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“Professional finishers.”

They know the job. 

“Excellent receiver.” 

The popular one.

“Got his hands on it. Couldn’t hang on.”

It’s a wiley one!

“He can create some penetration.”

But can he finish it?

“That’s a clean block.”

 Because it wasn’t ready to be finished.

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“Squirts that out beautifully.”

Ew. Just…Ew.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week 13

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The Bengals won one… Okay it was against the Browns and right now they can’t win their way out of a wet paper bag, but still. It’s a win. I’m not complaining. To top it off, Andy Dalton was named the Walter Payton Man of the Year candidate for the Bengals. Love him or hate him, he is a good guy. He deserves it.

Since it’s that time…let’s get to the funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“Deep balls.”

He swings low.

“He gets up then goes down.”

Then he starts all over again.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“Not an overly big guy.”

But he’s sweet.

 “Not very smooth.” 

He’s for the ones who like scruff.

“He fills the hole.”

Scruffy, medium build…he’s an everyman who gets the job done!

“He slips, then has no opportunity.”

Well, it wasn’t his time that time.

“A good hold.”

 Better than a bad one.

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“He knows how to finish.”

This isn’t his first rodeo. He knows how to ride and satisfy.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week 12 (on time, too!) with @MeganSlayer

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So… the game versus the Eagles was better than I’d expected. We actually looked like a team and not just a mishmash of bodies on the field. It’s a real big deal. Go Bengals!

Since it’s that time…let’s get to the funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“Can get it into really tight windows.”

Is that what we’re calling breaking in the newbs these days?

“Such a match-up when you can spread that defense that much.”

He knows his stuff and how to use it.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“the pound king.”

Sounds the way it is. He loves his pounding.

 “really slinging tonight.” 

It wasn’t called free and easy night for nothing.

“quick release time.”

That’s code for finishing early.

“a real match-up nightmare.”

Well, he’s the pound king. He’s not made for everyone.

“Can split ’em out wide.”

They don’t call him the king for nothing.

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“Makes him finish in his face.”

That’s his kink. Gotta keep ’em happy.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week 11 … only a little late with @MeganSlayer

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Yeouch… The game against the Ravens… sigh. At least we tried. Can’t say we didn’t. No interceptions, too. I’m trying to see the bright side. It’s tough.

Since it’s that time…let’s get to the funnies.

There are Honorable Mentions from last week–like always–so…here we go…

“A good working hole.”

Better than a closed one.

“a big hole.”

As opposed to a small one.

Okay, time for the Quotes of the Week. These are a real rip. Always!

“He is enormous.”

He’s popular.

 “A big gaping hole.” 

Because he was there. He left his mark.

“the power and the touch in his leg is phenomenal.”

Is that what we’re calling it now? His leg? Muwhahahahaha!

“9 or 10 in that hole already.”

Pretty sure that’s not possible.

“3 tight ends in the game.”

 They wanted to be sure they were well represented.

And now for the Doozy of the Week. Oh my…

This one is all kinds of wrong. Just all kinds.

“he came and pulled out quickly.”

Doesn’t mean it’s safe. But he tried.

Thanks for reading and please check out the other posts from the rest of the week.

Enjoy!

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b688e-qb_andy_dalton

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0