The Actor and Dog off the Chain ~ By @MeganSlayer #mmromance #novel #pets #dogs

Odd title for a blog post, right? I know it is. Follow me here. It’ll make sense in a moment.

When I wrote the book, What’s His Passion? Wild Card, I knew I had two strong characters—Kris and Zayn. I knew they were the focus of the book, but side characters can be just as important.

I’m an animal lover. I really am. Having three cats and three dogs, you could say I live in a zoo. You’d be right. When the mailman knocks on the front door, it’s a five-alarm panic. But I love it and this love showed up in Wild Card. Kris is a wounded man. He needs more than a lover. He needs a few friends, too. My dogs are great companions. They don’t talk back—although I’m convinced some of the barking is sassing—not that I mind. They stay beside me when I’m blue and are great for exercise. So how does this match up to Kris? And why would I bring a dog into a story about a gay man in porn?

In Wild Card, Kris lives in a nice private development, but even in the nicest places, wicked people exist. His next-door neighbor has a dog. You’ve probably seen the type—the dog is constantly outside. There’s no grass under the dog house and the circle he runs. Rain, shine, heat, cold…the dog is there. Kris sees a bit of himself in the dog next door. They’re both wounded. The dog needs attention and love. So does Kris.

So Kris’s in porn. He believes he can reach a little higher in life. He believes the same thing for the dog. They’re kindred spirits. The dog is a pit bull, so people think he’s dangerous. He’s actually very sweet and goofy. But out on the chain, he comes across as scary. He really wants attention. Same thing for Kris. People see the porn actor and think he’s dirty or nasty. He’s so much more once someone unlocks his potential.

Here’s an Easter egg for you—the dog is named Nugent. According to the neighbor, he’s named after Ted Nugent. That’s not where I got the name. I’m a huge Cincinnati Bengals fan and the kicker for the team during the writing of Wild Card happened to be named Nugent. The dog is named after a professional athlete. Grin.

Now I have to admit I’m the kind of person who can’t stand to see the dog/cat/etc hurt in a book or movie. For the dog in Wild Card, the feeling was no different. Nugent is a sweet dog. He and Kris as well as Zayn have to have a happy ending. Want to know what the happy ending is? Then you’ll have to read What’s His Passion? Wild Card. I hope you enjoy the love and the dog.

Here’s a little bit about What’s His Passion? Wild Card:

Following his heart and passion will be his biggest role of all.wildcard_800 1

Kris Hunter wants out. He’s done pornographic films for the last six years. The pay’s been good, but his creativity is nearly dead. His passion is to act and to be a star on the big screen in mainstream films. When he auditions for famed casting director, Zayn Mason, he’s convinced he’s on the right path. He doesn’t want to take the casting couch route to success, but he certainly wants Zayn in his bed. Can he follow his dreams and the man he desires or will forces beyond his control derail his progress?

Zayn Mason sees the potential in Kris. As a casting director, he looks for the right actor to fill the roles in movies. He’s seen plenty of talent come and go, but no one stirs his soul both creatively and physically like Kris. But Zayn knows the pitfalls of the movie industry. Crossing over from porn isn’t easy and Hollywood isn’t always forgiving. Besides, he’s got demons of his own. Can these men get beyond their pasts and find a future together under the bright lights of the silver screen?

Reader Advisory: This book contains scenes of voyeurism and intimacy with multiple partners.

Available From Pride Publishing:

Universal Link:

Amazon UK:

Amazon JP:

Amazon FR: 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Originally posted at The Paranormal Romantics Blog:

Flirty Friday with @MeganSlayer #mmromance #romance #looseid #contemporary

FRIDAY FLIRT BANNERHere’s a teaser from my latest work, Doc Cedarwood. I hope you enjoy. I love this story so much. I can’t wait to get back to their world 🙂

Doc Cedarwood by Megan Slayer MS_SFS5_DocCedarwood

Single Father Society, Book 5

Full Length Novel

Contemporary, M/M, Anal Sex

From Loose Id Publishing

Cover Art by April Martinez


Can an accident and a rim job lead to a lasting love?

Aiden Connor wasn’t looking for a date. Sure, he wanted one, but relationships seem to be too difficult to maintain. He’s an ER doctor and doesn’t have time for commitment…that is until he runs over a curb and needs a new rim for his sports car. The mechanic isn’t anything like he expects, but could be the one man he needs if he’s willing to open his mind and heart.

Matt Phillips equated dating with disaster, but sees himself as an eternal optimist. When he sees Aiden, he wants to give relationships a try. Every cell in his body screams to get the sexy doctor naked and in his bed. But Matt has demons and addictions he’s still working through. Will he fall prey to his past or learn and move forward with the hot doctor?

Available now!

EXCERPT: ©2017 Megan Slayer, All Rights Reserved

“Hi.” Matt stood before him, clad in the tightest white shirt and baggy jeans. He folded his arms. The fabric strained and displayed both his muscles and his ink. “Thought I’d find you here.”

“Me?” Aiden asked. “I’m not anyone special.”

“You’re a doctor.” Matt crossed the expanse and threaded his arms around Aiden. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since I met you.” He mashed his mouth down on Aiden’s, taking control immediately.

Aiden wanted to protest. He wanted to talk more and get to know Matt, but the kiss… He ground his crotch against Matt’s and caressed Matt’s back. He’d seen every inch of him when Matt had been in the ER, but having the man in his embrace kicked his senses into overdrive.

Matt leaned back long enough to rest his forehead on Aiden’s and groan. “Like that?”

He nodded. Any words were lost the moment he looked into Matt’s blue eyes. He wanted more from Matt—not just a kiss or a touch, but sex.

Doctor, Doctor and Opposites Attracting! Writing Doc Cedarwood with @MeganSlayer #mmromance #mm

Originally posted at the Dirty Birdies Blog! Check it out there:

I like to play with opposites and second chances in my books. I never set out to write a specific opposites attract tale or decide from the beginning that I’m going to give the characters each a second chance. The stories tend to come out that way.

Doc Cedarwood started out as a conversation between another author and me. I’d been to the emergency room related to a surgery I’d had shortly before (Don’t worry, I was fine, but needed to go and I’m back to tip top shape now). The doctor who cared for me while in the ER was…well, he was handsome and had a southern drawl. For what I’d gone in for, needless to say, I was embarrassed.

Anyway, I wanted to turn my embarrassment into a story. I mean, why not turn it into something good? So the ER doctor became one of the heroes in my Single Father Society series with Loose Id. But who could I pair up with Aiden, the clean, sterile doctor? I didn’t have to look long. Matt came right to the forefront. He’s a mechanic and a former addict. Yeah, he’s going to be an interesting potential partner for Aiden.  They’ve both got pasts and both deserve a second chance.

But don’t take my word for it. Check out Doc Cedarwood for yourself and see what you think!

 Doc Cedarwood by Megan Slayer

Single Father Society, Book 5

Full Length Novel

Contemporary, M/M, Anal Sex

From Loose Id Publishing

Cover Art by April Martinez

Can an accident and a rim job lead to a lasting love?

Aiden Connor wasn’t looking for a date. Sure, he wanted one, but relationships seem to be too difficult to maintain. He’s an ER doctor and doesn’t have time for commitment…that is until he runs over a curb and needs a new rim for his sports car. The mechanic isn’t anything like he expects, but could be the one man he needs if he’s willing to open his mind and heart.

Matt Phillips equated dating with disaster, but sees himself as an eternal optimist. When he sees Aiden, he wants to give relationships a try. Every cell in his body screams to get the sexy doctor naked and in his bed. But Matt has demons and addictions he’s still working through. Will he fall prey to his past or learn and move forward with the hot doctor?

Available now!

Out Now ~ Doc Cedarwood by @MeganSlayer #contemporary #mm #mmromance #doctor #novel @loveunleashed

Doc Cedarwood by Megan Slayer  MS_SFS5_DocCedarwood

Single Father Society, Book 5

Full Length Novel

Contemporary, M/M, Anal Sex

From Loose Id Publishing

Cover Art by April Martinez


Can an accident and a rim job lead to a lasting love?

Aiden Connor wasn’t looking for a date. Sure, he wanted one, but relationships seem to be too difficult to maintain. He’s an ER doctor and doesn’t have time for commitment…that is until he runs over a curb and needs a new rim for his sports car. The mechanic isn’t anything like he expects, but could be the one man he needs if he’s willing to open his mind and heart.

Matt Phillips equated dating with disaster, but sees himself as an eternal optimist. When he sees Aiden, he wants to give relationships a try. Every cell in his body screams to get the sexy doctor naked and in his bed. But Matt has demons and addictions he’s still working through. Will he fall prey to his past or learn and move forward with the hot doctor?


Available now from Loose Id –


EXCERPT: ©2017 Megan Slayer, All Rights Reserved
Aiden watched Aaron leave Matt’s room and a pang of jealousy hit him. He’d just gotten to know Matt and the connection was real. Was Matt that kind of guy who made everyone feel invited? Was he the type to click easily? Aiden scrubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. Man, he was overthinking things. The situation with Matt was new and fragile. Suck it up and stop expecting something so fast. But could he listen to his own advice? He ducked into Matt’s room and hoped for the best.
“Hi.” Matt sat on the edge of the bed. He’d managed to put his jeans on and wrangled a button-down shirt over his shoulders. “I really don’t like this thing.” He waved his arm in the sling. “Motherfucker, that hurts.”
“Which is why you’re not supposed to.” Aiden helped him finish putting the shirt on. “Don’t do that again without help.”
“Then be my help.” He wriggled his eyebrows. “I don’t want to be snarled up in this sling. I like to move.”
“You’ll be able to move before you know it. It gets easier.” He stood beside the bed and folded his arms. He sounded like a damn greeting card. “You’re waiting on the paperwork?”
“Yeah. I’m glad to get rid of the IV. I hate that stuff. You said saline, but it could’ve had something else mixed in.” Matt shook his head. “When you know addicts, you vow not to be like them. I don’t mind a beer every so often, but never pharmaceuticals. If I can’t have control, I’m not doing it.”
“Makes sense, I suppose, but it wasn’t mixed with anything. You like pain but on your terms.” Aiden notched his chin in the air. “Have you ever considered getting implants? The discs or whatever? They give me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about them.”
“Wow. No.” Matt struggled to his feet, wobbled, then sat back down. “I like the art and the pain, but I’m not into dermal anything. I’m also not used to being upright. Wow.” He leveled his gaze at Aiden. “I can’t stay here. I need to get out.”
Aiden recognized the pleading in Matt’s voice and couldn’t argue. He believed the best healing took place when the patient was the most comfortable—and usually at home. “The attendant will be here in a few with a wheelchair.” He paused. “It shouldn’t be much longer.”
“Are you leaving?” Matt asked.
“Yeah, soon. I’m late for a nap.” He didn’t move. He had to deal with his twinge of jealousy concerning Aaron. “I saw your business partner came back. He’ll take you home, right?”
“Yeah.” Matt toyed with the edge of the sling. “Would…would you be interested in stopping by my place? Say it’s to check on me or because we’re friends and we want to talk. I don’t care. Just come by.”
“Aaron isn’t staying with you?” He’d hate to impose.
“He’d love to be, but I told him no.” Matt tipped his head. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re supposed to have someone staying with you for the first twenty-four hours in case you have complications. You should have Aaron sleep over for a precaution.” He hated arguing and encouraging Matt to be with Aaron.
“Then you come over. We’ll talk more and you can watch me all you want. I’d planned on asking you to take me home so we could get to know each other better.” Matt reached for Aiden. “It’s forward and pushy, but it feels right to ask you.”

When the Idea Strikes with @MeganSlayer #writing #ideas #creativity

Originally posted at the Romance Studio:

Sometimes it seems like the ideas just won’t come. Sometimes they’re stuck. Like, really stuck. I can’t seem to work out what will happen next…at all. No matter what I do, I’m just…stuck.

That happened this past weekend. I’d worked on a story that’s been there the whole time, but just wasn’t ready yet. I had this character who has been difficult. I knew he wanted his story told, but he just wasn’t ready yet. So I thought he was. I started his story and had a word count limit. I knew I’d blow the limit. I tend to do that anyway. But this time, I knew it was going to happen. But I thought, hey, I can turn this into two stories.

Then the story fell apart. Kind of. It wasn’t going to work for the particular situation I was using it for. Now for some writers, this wouldn’t be a big deal. Write it anyway and publish it. But I don’t work that way. I want the story to be right. I don’t like to rush.

So then I was asked to take part in an anthology. I won’t lie. The previous story running into bumps threw my muse into a tailspin. I used to be able to work on two or more manuscripts at one time. Not any longer. I need to concentrate and for me the story works better when I’m focusing on one. So… The previous story wouldn’t work for the anthology, but I really wanted to take part.

What’s a writer to do?

I let my muse have a break. Yep. A big old break. The funny part is, when I let the muse off the hook, that’s when they (I’m convinced my muse is a couple) decided to cooperate. They came up with a fantastic idea. I had no clue they’d do that. Most of the time when I give them a break, they take forever to work with me.

But this post is about the idea striking. I set out to plot the story, since I had the start. But the more I wrote the outline, the more the actual story came forth. Fast and furious. I’ve been working on it ever since. I love when this happens. The story is there, it’s flowing and the idea is fresh. It makes me happy to write. I love to create. When I’m not writing, I’m not…me.

Does this happen to you? Have you ever had something not so fun turn into something fantastic? I’d love to hear about it.

Speaking of something not so fun turning into something pretty great, my upcoming release, Doc Cedarwood. Check it out!

Doc Cedarwood by Megan Slayer

Single Father Society, Book 5

Full Length Novel

Contemporary, M/M, Anal Sex

From Loose Id Publishing

Cover Art by April Martinez

Can an accident and a rim job lead to a lasting love?

Aiden Connor wasn’t looking for a date. Sure, he wanted one, but relationships seem to be too difficult to maintain. He’s an ER doctor and doesn’t have time for commitment…that is until he runs over a curb and needs a new rim for his sports car. The mechanic isn’t anything like he expects, but could be the one man he needs if he’s willing to open his mind and heart.

Matt Phillips equated dating with disaster, but sees himself as an eternal optimist. When he sees Aiden, he wants to give relationships a try. Every cell in his body screams to get the sexy doctor naked and in his bed. But Matt has demons and addictions he’s still working through. Will he fall prey to his past or learn and move forward with the hot doctor?

Available soon from Loose Id Publishing:

My Favorite Mistake by @WendiZwaduk out now #newrelease #novel #mf #contemp


Available in February from Totally Bound:

Available from Kobo:


amazon print:

First Chapters ~ Together in Cedarwood by @MeganSlayer

Together in Cedarwood

Bobby Gagnon came back to town in the hopes of starting over. He’s got his kids and his MS_TogetherInCedarwoodaccounting business, but he wants more. One look at the hot guy sharing the running trail with him is enough to stoke Bobby’s fire. He wants to hook up with the sexy runner, but he doesn’t even know the guy’s name. Will the man even want to be with a single father?

Remy Bard never considered himself a kid person or parent material. He’s happy with his job at the Cedarwood Tribune, but it’s not enough. Something’s always been missing in his life. He keeps seeing the same guy at the park—tall, dark, handsome and hot as hell in those running shorts. Although he’s shy, Remy isn’t about to let this guy get away without at least one night together.

These opposites certainly attract, but will their differences be enough to keep them apart or will they find a way to come together in Cedarwood?

Available at Loose Id or anywhere Ebooks are sold!

Now for the first chapter!!

©Megan Slayer, 2016, All Rights Reserved

Chapter One

“Hi. My name is Robert, but everyone calls me Bobby. I’m a single father to two great kids—er, young people. My son says he’s not a kid. Chris is fifteen and my daughter, Darcy, is twelve. I’ve got a teen and an almost teen.” Christ, he felt old.

“My daughter swims and my son’s a runner.” Bobby stuffed his hands into his pockets. Talking in public didn’t bother him, but talking about himself did. He had to press on, though. If he didn’t talk, he’d never get this out. “I didn’t plan on being a single parent, but I also couldn’t deny who I am. I tried the traditional route and got married to a woman. Helene and I had some good times. Darcy was our best creation, and when we adopted Chris as an older child, I thought things were great. They were happy and I thought I was, but I was miserable. I knew I was gay, but there was no amount of therapy that my folks could find to fix me before I got married. It took me a long time to understand I wasn’t the one who needed fixing. Anyway, I came out to my wife, and she left me. It turned out all of the happy feelings were a joke. A sham. She had a guy on the side and didn’t want the kids. She’d had Darcy to please me and went through with the adoption because she thought I wanted it. She never wanted either. She turned over parental rights, so for the last five years it’s just been the three of us. I’ve had boyfriends, but nothing worth much. The kids come first.”

He sat down and exhaled. Holy shit. He’d babbled his head off. It felt oddly good to talk, though. He had so much bottled up since the divorce. He hadn’t even mentioned he was the son of the police chief or that he’d grown up in Cedarwood and left because his parents couldn’t handle him being gay.

Another man stood and told his story, then a woman talked about being newly single. The group had been called the Single Father Society, but a few women were there. Two lesbians and a straight woman whose best gay friend had just died and she needed someone to talk to. He appreciated the mix of people and not being the only person with problems.

He barely paid attention to the other speakers. His mind kept returning to his schedule for the next day. With the kids out of school, he’d spend the morning at the metro park. Darcy had to get to swim practice by eight, and Chris had conditioning for cross-country starting at half-past eight. He toyed with the fitness band on his wrist. He’d probably end up running the ten-mile course while he waited. He needed to get stuff done at work. Shit. He’d have to call his mother to see if she’d keep an eye on the kids.


Fuck. Someone had called his name. He snapped his attention back to the group. “Sorry.” He wasn’t—not really. He’d never been able to focus.

“We’re done.” Colin Baker grinned. “You were a million miles away.” He flipped his hair off his brow and shook his head. “A hundred million miles.”

Bobby had been back in town for a month and only spent time with his kids, the parents at the various practices, and his clients. Besides work situations, tonight’s meeting was his first venture out without his children.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’ve got too much on my mind.” And on his plate. He appraised his friend from high school. “You’ve changed,” Bobby said. But so had he. “You’re taller? New glasses? Dyed your hair?”

“Nope, nope, and nope.” Colin twiddled with his phone. “I’m busy at the bookstore and I lost some weight, but that’s it. I’m in charge of the group here, but I’m not single so I guess I should step down. Remember Jordan?” He turned his phone around. A photo of Colin, a kid, and a guy in a police uniform graced the home page. “That’s him and my son, Gage. We’re getting married. Me and Jordan—not Gage. That would be silly. He’s a kid.”

“I knew what you meant.” The longer he looked at the photo, memories from high school came back to him. He did remember Jordan Hargrove. He hadn’t been in Jordan’s social circle, but he’d been good friends with Colin. He wouldn’t have put Colin and Jordan together. “He used to be a real dick.”

“Funny. My brother says that exact same thing.” Colin tucked the phone into his back pocket.

Farin, Colin’s younger brother, strolled over to where they stood. “What am I guilty of that I might or might not have done?”

“You call Jordan ‘Officer Dick,’” Colin replied.

“I used to.” Farin smiled. “He’s grown on me.” He slid his gaze over Bobby. “I’m glad you’re back, Bobby. This town is becoming a strange version of a high school reunion. If you’re not from school, then we’ve got kids in common.” He held up his cell phone and pointed to a photo on the screen. “My partner is one of the swim instructors over at the metro park. I’ve probably seen you there, and if I haven’t, I’m sure we’ll cross paths there.”

“Partner?” He was coupled up too? Christ. Everyone in the damn support group already had someone. No, he was wrong. Two of them did, but still.

“Steve.” Farin pointed to another photo. “He’s my boy toy and I’m the elder statesman.” He smiled, then wandered over to another group of men who were deep in conversation about what sounded like comic books, but Bobby wasn’t sure.

Colin rolled his eyes and folded his arms. “They’re getting married too.”

“So this is a dating pool?” Bobby snorted. The last thing he needed was a date. Actually, he could use a good fuck, but he wasn’t high on bringing random guys home.

“Kind of.” Colin collected the papers from one of the tables. “Jordan and I met because I got a speeding ticket.”

“He nabbed you with his radar, eh?” Bobby asked and gathered up some of the other papers.

“I earned the violation, sadly. I sped through a school zone. Not my best hour, but I learned.” Colin shrugged. “Farin met Steve at the metro park. They’ve bonded over comics and art.” He paused. “I don’t see Colt or Ashley, but they’re together. Colt owns the diner. Best fries around. Ash teaches at the elementary school. His son, Wyatt, is a trip. Oh, and our friend Niall is now with Michael, who happens to be in a band and goes by the name of Bandit. Got all that?” He grinned. “Niall and Michael don’t have kids, but they’re part of our group, so other than them, yeah, this has become a dating pool.”

“I’m not interested in getting a date.” He’d told himself that lie so many times, he almost believed it. Almost.

“None of us were either. Jordan and I sort of happened, and I might have had a hand in getting Farin to notice Steve.”

“You set me up,” Farin called but didn’t leave the other group.

“Something like that. Ash and Colt were their own organic thing. They met on their own, and Michael and Niall met at the school.” Colin paused again. “How old did you say Darcy was? Twelve? She’ll be too old for their classes. They’re both at the elementary school.”

Bobby rocked on his feet. He’d forgotten how much Colin could talk. “Middle school and high school for us. I got them registered two weeks ago, and Chris already joined the cross-country team. He ran for his old school in Chagrin and had a couple of records.”

“That’s awesome.” Colin beamed, then sobered. He put one hand up. “I have to say this. If you’re contacted by the Coalition for Order in Cedarwood, tread lightly.”

“The anti-gay group?” Bobby asked. He’d had run-ins with them a couple of times and hated it. “I had one approach me at the diving finals at the beginning of the month. The school superintendent talked to me.”

“Yes. Just…they’re trying to rid the town of anyone they don’t like. Doesn’t matter if you’re gay, lesbian, have purple hair, or a pet giraffe. They want to clean up the town.” He hooked his fingers in the air like quotes. “It’s garbage, but we’re working to change it.”

“There are lots of sports parents who don’t care. They know about me and haven’t treated me any differently. It’s been refreshing, actually.” Bobby widened his stance. “They’ve been very inclusive.”

“That’s great, but it only takes one or two die-hards to cause serious trouble.” Colin handed Bobby a flier. “The big festival is this weekend. Anyone is welcome. There will be rides, games, fireworks, and a concert. Please come. Bring the kids.”

“Sounds good, but my folks are taking Darce and Chris to the lake this weekend,” Bobby replied. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t support the cause.” God knew he could use a night out. “I’ve still got tons of shit in boxes at the house, and I won’t get done unpacking this weekend, so yeah, count me in.”

“You’ll have fun.” Colin clapped Bobby on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.”

“Thanks. I missed home. Yeah, I had that falling out with Dad, but it’s getting better.” He winked. “See you this weekend or at the next meeting.”

“It’s a deal. You can meet Jordan and the rest of the guys.” Colin waved and headed across the room to his brother.

“Re-meet him,” Bobby mumbled. He waved and then made his way out to the parking lot. The sun had already set, but the heat hadn’t dissipated. He shrugged into his T-shirt. He hated sleeping in humid evening air—unless he had a hot guy to share his bed. He sighed and climbed behind the wheel of his car. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t going to find anyone in Cedarwood.

He turned the key and the engine roared to life. He rolled the windows down, then headed out of the lot. He’d thought coming back to Cedarwood would be a smart idea. The notion ended up being a mixed bag result. Things were good because the schools were top-notch with great academic and athletic programs for the kids. The move was also beneficial because he was closer to his parents, which gave his children a better chance to get to know them. But man, there were some big negatives. He hadn’t expected to run into so many former classmates or have to deal with so much of his past. He hated running from things, but his high school years hadn’t been the greatest. He liked change and being free.

He turned onto the main drag. The streetlights threw odd shadows on the pavement as he passed the buildings. He remembered zipping up and down the road a hundred times during his senior year. He smiled and scrubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. He’d driven to clear his mind and to forget the way he’d felt about Damon Barnes. The soccer jock hadn’t noticed him, and he’d been too embarrassed to admit he was gay back then.

He sighed and headed north of town to his development. He’d had so many missed opportunities in life—missed connections with guys he’d liked, jobs he’d wanted, and situations he’d liked to have experienced. After Helene left, he swore he wasn’t going to have any more regrets.

Right now he regretted not having a hot fuck in his bed. He needed someone to share his life with for even just a couple of days, but his self-imposed rule kept most potential partners away. He refused to bring random guys home for sex. He scrubbed his face again, then pulled into his driveway. He’d seen a man around town but hadn’t made a move. What if the guy said no? Or what if he was turned off by a man with kids? What if he wasn’t even gay? He groaned. Time to stop thinking about sex and hot men. He was a dad and had to think about his children—not his dick.

He eased the car into the garage and shut off the engine. He hit the button to close the door, then left the vehicle. He thought about the guy he’d seen running at the metro park. If he was meant to find a lover in Cedarwood, then it would happen, but he doubted it. Fate had a certain way of kicking him in the teeth when it came to relationships.

He stopped in the middle of the dark garage. His thoughts turned to Helene. He’d believed they were all happy when he was with her. Well, no. They were fine. Not happy, just fine. He shook his head. He wasn’t fine, and they hadn’t been back then either. Sure, he was glad he had Darcy and Christopher, but he wished he’d been honest with himself from the start. As much as he’d come to dislike Helene, he knew down in his heart that she’d deserved better. She’d left him in a tough spot, but she hadn’t been the one for him and he hadn’t been himself with her.

He made his way over to the man door leading into the house. Time to stop thinking about the past. He needed to be Dad now. He strode into the house and stepped around the boxes in the dining room. One day he’d have everything put where it belonged, but not tonight.

Chris sat on the couch and Darcy was stretched out beside him, but under a blanket. A bowl of half-eaten popcorn remained on the coffee table and sitcoms that were almost as old as Bobby played on the television.

“Watching educational television?” Bobby asked, sarcasm dripping from his words. “I remember this show.” He didn’t, not really, but sometimes getting Chris to talk was harder than complex taxes.

“I like their style,” Chris replied. “She’s asleep if you want to carry her upstairs.”

Crap. He’d planned on getting home before she conked out. “Sorry I was late.” He tossed his keys onto the table, then rounded the couch. He scooped Darcy into his arms. Although she was twelve and strong from the hundreds of thousands of laps in the pool, the girl was tiny. He carried her up to her bedroom and left her under the covers.

“Thanks, Dad,” she murmured, then rolled over.

Bobby kissed her head. “Night, Peanut.” He left her door open a crack, then went back downstairs.

“She wanted to swim. I know you said no, but it helped her blow off steam.” Chris turned off the television. “She’s angry about the move.”

“I know.” He’d expected this. He’d waited until after school let out before he’d had them transferred. Both kids would be starting in new buildings—Chris as a sophomore and Darcy in the seventh grade. He felt for Chris, but the kid could make friends anywhere and had a knack for getting his sister to open up about almost everything. Bobby sat opposite his son on the couch. “What upset her?”

Chris grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl. “There’s a kid on the swim team who said she didn’t belong. She made fun of Darcy’s suit, then her cap because it wasn’t the same as the other kids.” He rolled his eyes. “She wants her old friends and her old room back.”

For being fifteen, the kid could be incredibly mature. Bobby picked up the bowl of popcorn. “We can’t go back to the old house. It sold within hours of putting it on the market. I’ve told her however she wants to decorate her room, we’ll do it.” As for the kid on the team, he’d have to pay attention at practice in the morning. He wouldn’t involve the parents, but he’d listen in and see if he could give his daughter better advice in dealing with the little shit.

“She’s worried you’ll replace Mom.” Chris shrugged. “I’m not.” The muscle in his jaw twitched and if Bobby wasn’t mistaken, the kid had a thin growth of hair on his cheeks.

“Still mad at Mom?” He didn’t blame Chris. Helene’s leaving had been difficult all the way around. “Part of that was my fault.”

“Dad, you’re gay. So what? Mom didn’t have to abandon us because she hated you.” Chris shook his head and stuffed the popcorn into his mouth.

Bobby admired his son’s ability to be frank but still act his age. He grabbed a handful of popcorn but didn’t say anything. If Christopher wanted to talk, then he’d listen.

“She acts like she hates us. She won’t come to the swim meets or my meets. I don’t understand.” Chris flipped his hair out of his eyes. Normally, he had his tresses back in a ponytail at the back of his head. When he wore his hair loose, most of the strands ended up in front of his face. “We’re not bad kids.”

“No, you’re not.”

“It fucking sucks.” Chris’s voice cracked and he averted his gaze when he swore. “Sorry, Dad, but it does. She’s our mom and doesn’t want us, but she’s pregnant with Glenn’s baby.”

Bobby bristled. He knew Helene had moved on, but he’d thought she was with a guy named Trent, not Glenn. He also never expected her to get pregnant—not after the way she pitched a fit after she had Darcy.

“Yeah, she’s gonna marry Glenn and have a perfect life.” Chris hopped up from the couch. “She sent me an e-mail.” He retrieved his phone from the table, then handed the device over to Bobby. “Congratulations. We’re expanding.”

Bobby sighed as he read the words. Sure enough, his ex had announced via email she was going to change her last name again and have a baby. “Good for her.” He only half-meant it. “If this makes her happy, then we should be happy.” Kind of. “You’ve got me and we’re a team. If Mom doesn’t want to be around, then don’t force it.”

“You’re taking it well,” Chris said. He plopped onto the couch. “When are you going to get a boyfriend? No one cares if you do. Darce would love it.”

He paused and measured his words carefully. “I’m waiting for the right one to come along. Nothing drastic or quick. I’ve got you two to worry about, and that’s what’s important.”

“Couldn’t find a hookup at the support group?” Chris crooked his eyebrows. “Maybe next week?”

“You want me married off, huh?” He hugged his son and laughed. The last thing he needed to worry about was a relationship, yet his kids wanted him to be happy and thought that was what he wanted. Fuck. He had no idea what he needed.

“Dad, you’re depressed. Darcy might not understand, but I see it.” Chris shrugged. “You and Terry were pretty happy.”

“I guess.” He clapped Chris on the shoulder. “You’d better get to bed and stop worrying about my love life. Worry about your own and that cute girl at practice. She seemed nice. Nicole? Or was her name Nichelle?”

From his hairline to the neckline of his shirt, Chris blushed. “Her name is Carrie.”

“She’s cute.” He grabbed the popcorn bowl and carried it to the kitchen. “Get some rest so you’re fresh for practice.”

“Got it.” Chris dipped his head and scrambled up the stairs.

Bobby returned to the kitchen and scrubbed both hands over his face. Well, fuck. His kids were worried about his relationship status. It wasn’t their problem, and besides, he’d thought he’d been doing a decent job raising them alone. He groaned. He should call his parents if for no other reason than to find out what they knew. He loved his mother and father, but with the problems they’d had in the past he wasn’t sure he wanted them to know his kids were upset about him being alone. He grabbed another handful of popcorn. Being a single parent wasn’t his idea of fun.

He’d never dated a man who could understand him. He’d thought he found the right man in Terry, but Terry never could accept the kids—not totally. Neil had never been a good choice and couldn’t care emotionally for anyone but himself.

He finished the popcorn, then ruffled through the stack of mail. He recognized the names on the envelopes. Two were bills, one was a check, and the fourth…he wished he had his glasses. He held the envelope closer and reread the return address.

The Coalition for Order in Cedarwood.

Good God. He checked the name on the front once more. “Dear occupant,” he mumbled. They hadn’t necessarily zeroed in on him. No, they were blanketing the community. He shook his head and opened the envelope.

He scanned the letter and bit back a gag. The Coalition made it sound like they welcomed everyone to town and looked forward to the festival. They wanted unity within the community. Sure, they did. He tossed the letter into the garbage. He didn’t want his kids seeing that crap.

He locked the back and front doors and turned the lights off along the way upstairs. A dull ache started behind his eyes. He glanced over at the clock. Shit. Was it almost eleven already? He stripped out of his clothes and put on sleep shorts, then collapsed on his bed. Maybe things would work out in the morning.

* * * *

The next morning, Bobby drove the kids to the metro park. He parked by the wooden fence. If he came back to the car, he could see the cross-country team and the pools.

“Thanks, Dad.” Chris climbed out of the vehicle first. “Meet you here at noon?”

“Practice is that long?” he asked.

“The high school practice lasts longer than the junior high, but they’re having a meeting too.” Chris pointed to the pond. “You’ll be able to see us when you’re done with your run. If we get done early, I’ll come over to the pools.”

“Good deal.” He waited for Chris to join the knot of runners before he turned his attention to Darcy. “I hear there’s a kid giving you trouble.”

“I knew Chris would tell.” She folded her arms. “It’s not a big deal.”

“No?” He turned around as best he could in the seat and met her gaze. “Peanut, no one has the right to make fun of you, but what have I told you?”

“If they make fun, they’re doing it because they’re not feeling good about themselves,” she answered, her tone flat.

At least she’d heard him. “Okay, then don’t let her get to you.”

“Dad, you don’t understand.” Darcy grabbed the back of the seat and scooted forward. “I want to go home. I hate it here. We were good in Chagrin. My room is there and so are my friends. We can visit Grandma and Grandpa without being in the same town.”

“Sweetheart, I can’t change what happened.” But now he felt helpless.

“You said not to let people make fun of me, but when Neil made fun of you we moved.”

“He didn’t make fun of me.” There was so much more to the change than just Neil’s attitude and he knew damn well she’d never understand. How should he put some of this into a way to explain? “We moved from Chagrin because I wanted to have my own accounting business. I could get the building and our new house for the best deal. If I’d opened the same business in Chagrin, I still would’ve had to sell the house. Yes, Neil acted like a jerk, but that’s his problem.”

“Oh.” She toyed with her swim cap. “Sorry, Dad.”

“I know this is tough. Moving isn’t fun for any of us.”

“Chris isn’t having a bad time,” she replied.

“He handles things differently than you do. I’m sure he’s having some problems, but he found friends.” He pointed over his shoulder at the pool. “Other than the girl who is jealous of your suit, aren’t there other kids who are nice?”

“Yes.” She half-smiled. “Some of them.”

“Be yourself, Peanut. Until you do that, you won’t be happy.” He turned and climbed out of the car. He opened the door for his daughter. He knew all too well about now being honest with himself. Things were different for Darcy, but it all boiled down to being happy with herself.

Darcy flung her arms around his waist. “Thanks, Dad.” She held on another moment. “At least you bought the house with the pool.”

“For a certain swimmer. Grab your bag and get moving so you’re not late. I’ll be on the trails, then I’ll meet you when you’re done. I might even watch during practice.” He winked as she slung her duffle bag onto her shoulder. “Okay?”

“Thanks.” She nodded and her smile widened. “Have fun on your run.”

He sagged against the side of the car and watched her join the other kids at the pool. Things weren’t settled with her and she’d have more questions, but he’d bought himself some time.

Bobby clipped the lanyard onto his keys, then draped the lanyard around his neck. He picked up his water bottle and downed half of the cool liquid. He ran through his battery of stretches while he also mentally worked through his schedule for the day. Once the kids were done with practice, he had to drop them off with his parents so he could get a solid six hours in at the office. Thank God tax season was over and he’d waited until after April to move the family. He’d never be able to finish taxes for his various clients and box up his belongings at the same time.

“Dad.” Darcy bounded back up to him but without her bag. “They’re moving practice to the indoor pool so they can open the outside pool up to everyone else.”

“Okay. I’ll catch you there.” He waited once again until she disappeared into the building with the other kids on her swim team before he set out on his run. He glanced over at the cross-country team. Christopher, plus two boys and three girls, were off to the side going through their stretches.

At least he knew where his kids were. He adjusted his fitness band and rolled his shoulders. He hadn’t done enough pre-run stretching, but he needed to get moving. The stress of the day—which hadn’t even really started yet—washed over him. He had too much on his plate. He checked his laces and finished loosening up.

Bobby headed off in the direction of the trails. He liked to start at the north end and work his way back around the serpentine track. The sound of the crushed limestone under his shoes lulled him. He could get lost in his thoughts during his runs and preferred things that way. As he rounded through the woods, he noticed a pair of runners coming toward him.

A woman and a man. He didn’t mind sharing the track with others, but liked the solitary qualities. He wasn’t one for talking while he worked out.

The pair hustled up to him, and he made eye contact with the guy. A shiver ran the length of his spine and he could’ve sworn he’d been hit by lightning. He’d never felt so off balance in his life.

The man smiled and nodded but didn’t stop running. The woman seemed to look right through him.

He kept going and tried to shake the prickly feeling. He had no idea if the handsome shirtless man was even gay. This was his problem. The men he was attracted to weren’t attracted to him. He flexed his fingers and kept running. He wasn’t an ugly man—was he? He kept himself in shape and wasn’t covered in body hair. He wasn’t tattooed up or pierced in strange places.

Maybe that was his problem. He wasn’t original enough. He blended in everywhere he went. He’d been told he was handsome but distant. He had kids! He had to make sure things were on the level before he introduced the new person into his family equation. He and Terry couldn’t make the distance thing work, and he was okay with that. He hated not having his lover there to hold at night. Better to be without than with and not getting any. He chuckled. Only he could come to that conclusion.

Then there was the second long-term boyfriend, Neil. The guy swore he loved Bobby, but when the truth came out that hadn’t been the case. Neil didn’t want to be a father. He wanted someone in his life who could take care of him, but God forbid he have to care for other human beings. He should’ve known the moment he and Neil got together that they weren’t going to work. He’d pushed his better judgment aside in favor of a hot man. That was his problem. He’d lowered his standards.

He was crazy. He glanced over his shoulder, but the man and woman weren’t on the track. Probably good. He needed to get his head out of his ass and stop thinking about sex and hot men.

He kept going down the trail. Sooner or later he’d run his problems out of his mind or he’d simply work off his breakfast. Something like that. Running helped him clear his brain. He noticed the cross-country team through the trees. He’d pass them soon. He’d promised Chris he wouldn’t embarrass him. He picked up the pace and smiled at the runners as he passed them. He waved at Chris, but didn’t say a word.

“That’s Dad,” Chris said. He turned his attention to Bobby. “Hi, Dad.”

“Hey, kid.” He focused on the path ahead, but could’ve sworn he heard one of the girls speak.

“That’s your dad? He looks so…not like a dad.”

Bobby smothered a smile behind his hand and continued running. He wasn’t invisible to everyone, and now he didn’t look like a dad. Maybe next he could look like a hot guy and get a date. Maybe.