Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Preseason, Week 1 ~ @meganslayer #football

This feature will be moving to Mondays, but this week it’s on Thursday. Hey, gotta switch things up from time to time. 🙂 It’s preseason, so it’s time to start laughing it up!!

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My Bengals aren’t in my local market area, so I didn’t get to see the game live, but I held my breath through parts of it. Whew. Driskel looked good, so I’m told and I’m hoping Dalton and McCarron just needed to knock the rust off. Mixon…I’m pulling for him and Ross. I think they’ve got what it takes to be impressive. Here’s to hoping so. I’m wanting better than a .500 season.

It’s time for the preseason quotes. There were a few goodies from the Hall of Fame game that didn’t quite make the cut last time around, but they’re here now! Let’s get started.

“Asked him to move inside.” 

Yeah, you can’t pause for too long or it’s uncomfortable.

“He gets beat and beat by a good one.”

If he’s not moving, then most anything would beat him. Just sayin’. It’s not a race. Sometimes you’ve got to move.

“He gets bunched up before he turns the corner.”

Well…if he’s got a bit of a curve to him, then that could be a problem. No wonder he’s not moving.

“Sliding in the pocket.”

There we go. He’s got it now. Just needed a little…push.

“Hauls this one in–good hands.”

Yeah, he is good. Now that he’s got his mojo…look out!

Now for those wonderful quotes this week from the various preseason games. You won’t want to miss these.

“Can get very sloppy.”

He just used a little too much lube. It’s all good.

“Providing some heat up in there.”

Ah…hot sauce play.  If that’s your fetish…

“Getting manhandled up front.”

If he’s the guy from before that wasn’t moving, then he’s got it coming. Can’t hold still for too long or that push will get you.

“A small crease.”

Because he is tight…

“Meets him in the back.”

They did say they were going on a date. Better to meet in the back than the front where the action is right away.

“The big guy up front will be tested on his endurance.”

As long as it’s not a pencil and paper test, he’ll be just fine.

And now for the Doozy of the Week…this is the one that had me scratching my head the longest or was just so far out there…I couldn’t believe it. Ready?

“Did he get the whole loaf out?”

Yeah… I’m not sure what he’s referencing. There are a couple ways this could be interpreted, but I’m pretty sure bread and football aren’t in the same sentence (usually). Thoughts? I mean, if he’s endowed with a loaf… holy cow… and if it’s the other kind…yeah, don’t want to see that.

Well, those are the first week of the madness. Technically the second week, but it’s the first week of full action. Here’s to a good season, less CTE, more great plays and lots of fun! Oh, and WHO DEY!

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

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