Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week 1 ~ It begins! #football


Well, that was a fun week one and it’s not completely over yet. The Bengals won versus the Raiders. Seemed like it wasn’t much of a competition until the fourth quarter. Conversely, the Browns looked like clowns. Down a quarterback already, they’re using Manziel? Oy. Not sure how this will work.

While there were tons of fun plays and other stuff I could talk about, it’s time for some silly quotes. Are you ready? Here are the Honorable Mentions:

“Needs to get a lot of action.”

That’s because he gets bored easily.

“Good hold up the middle.”

Because if you go on the side, it’s not as fun.

“Can’t get in there.”

Yes because he wasn’t up the middle.

“Short power to the right side.”

What’s with keeping to one side or the other? Isn’t it easier in the middle?

“It doesn’t matter…got to keep those hands inside.”

Again with the inside. Jeepers. At least someone is having fun.

Now for those quotes of the week. It always amazes me what’s said on television. 

“He can do so many things.”

That’s why he’s the favorite. 

“To regain the explosiveness he once had.”

What does he have to do? Little blue pills?

“In the slot.”

If he’s going in there, he needs the explosiveness. 

“He’s got tremendous hands.”

And he knows how to use them. 

“Swallowed him up.”

Hands? Or mouth? Photos? 


Well, after he was swallowed up, I’m sure there was some drilling going on. 

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I’m still reeling from it. Here we go!

“These are gaping holes you typically do not see.”

This had to do with a run and getting up the field, but man it sounds bad. Like an orgy or something…

Thanks for reading and checking out my thoughts on the games. I’ve got release news and cover art to post this week, so stay tuned!!



Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

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