Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Preseason Week 2


It’s that time again. Time for the Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback… I’m in the middle of plotting out my own football story, so I’ve got to say this is great research. It’s also funny as heck to listen to the commentators.

There were some funnies from last week, but they didn’t make it onto the list. They’ve made it this week as Honorable Mentions! Here they are:

“Landing a lick.”

On? Swatting someone? Licking someone? Needs more information.

“Tools for his toolbox – using those tools.”

Ah, so we have a dungeon master. Cool!

“If there’s anyone who can hit it and get it in, it’s that guy.”

He’s a player, eh?

“He’s used to being on his back.”

So he’s a bottom? Or he likes to let her ride him? Maybe we should get some photos for reference.

Like those? I sure did, but I’ve got even better ones for this week. Hard? Yeah, it was difficult to find the right ones for this week, but I managed. Here we go!

“Bring some exotic coverage.”

Like sheepskin rubbers? Or something else?

“A sack machine.”

Now, don’t go calling him that. He’s not that loose.

“Getting on–body on a body.”

Unless it’s an orgy, I’d hope there was body on a body.

“A beautiful strip.”

Why thank you.

“Great penetration by the line.”

See? Now there’s the orgy. And the line is very busy.

“Ugly but efficient.”

This one isn’t funny, but it kind of is. Who wants to be called ugly? Is that a backhanded compliment? Just asking.

Last one…

“Standing right next to him I had no idea what he was doing or how he was doing it.”

Maybe next time you should ask for a tutorial.


So, there’s always one that just…it’s beyond belief. I’ve got one of those this week. Sure do.

“Kind of a one gap penetrator.”

Now, this pertained to a run and getting through a hole, but being tackled before he got too far down the field, but honestly it made me pause.

One gap penetrator…so he’s monogamous. Nice.

Geesh. Yeah, that was on television.

I’m off to work on the football story with lots of MM goodness and will be watching the next set of games for next week. Gotta have those quotes. Until then, enjoy!



Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

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