Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Hall of Fame Game

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Every year, I look forward to football season. Why? I’m not sure. It started out as something to do to pass the time, then it was something to discuss with the males in the household. Now? Now it’s a passion. 🙂

While watching, I happened to be doing something else. I listened to the commentary and occasionally glanced over to see what was happening. What really caught my attention was the commentary. Okay, that and the nice, tight buns of the players, but that’s beside the point. So I’m listening to the commentators and being the naughty writer I am, I took almost EVERYTHING they said the wrong way. 

In the spirit of all those comments that could go so many naughty ways, I present you with this season’s football funnies… or as I like to call them, the Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback, Hall of Fame edition. 

Honorable Mentions from the 2014 season:

“this is gonna leave marks”

Could be a great thing. 

“Nice move to get out of it”

Ah, so the knots were easily unknotted. 

“Completely turned him loose.”

And he did what exactly? I want to see!

“He rubs people the wrong way.”

Giggle. Since when did this whole thing go the way of BDSM? Besides, I want to see the guy. Maybe he’s not so bad after all. 

Now let me present the Hall of Fame Game 2015 Football Funnies!

“We can fix him.”

Was he broken? Body or spirit? He needs neutered?

“He saw a lot of action last year as a rookie.”

See, there’s nothing really wrong with this line, but I envisioned a conga line of kink going on and this is the guy’s sophomore season. Yeah, I went there.

“When you see him in the pocket, he is never moving around.”

Hmm. Maybe he likes to toy with the pocket and make it beg.

“Can’t handle it before it hits the ground.”

What is it? I’m thinking a sex toy of some sort. Yeah, something of the jelly family. 

“Comes right up the field and when he comes at you…wow.”

Sounds messy. Lots of coming and all over the place, too. But might be fun to watch him. 

“He can do a lot of different positions.”

Oh my. Where is this guy? I want to watch, climb, lick and ogle him. 

Er…ahem. Okay. So, for our finale, the Doozy of the Week. This is the one comment that either left me scratching my head or rolling on the floor because…oh, wow…they went there. 

“He’s a rock below the waist.”

Damn. Just…damn. Where are the photos of this one? 

Whew.

That’s all for the Hall of Fame game, but you can catch my catches from week one of the preseason on Monday. This looks like it’ll be a great season. 

As always, thanks for reading. 

XOXO

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Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

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